


Always

by FiddleDeStixx



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2017-11-26 08:22:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/648529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiddleDeStixx/pseuds/FiddleDeStixx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lyrics are 'Still Holding Out For You' by SHeDAISY.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always

16 year old Elizabeth Lestrade woke up, feeling the sun come in through the curtains. She rolled over as best she could, the bed squeaking at her frame. She'd been keeping a secret from her friends over the summer. She heard her phone beep and reached for it shakily, a new text message on it from her best friend.

You won't believe what I saw this morning on my way to Uni. There was a woman in the tube that continued screaming throughout the whole ride until she ripped her clothes off and ran out of the tram. It was hilarious. You should have seen it. Hope you slept well! AM

Sounds hilarious. - EL

She chanted some kind of satanic bullshit and then ran out stark naked. AM

Why do the freaks of the world always seem to find you? - EL

Maybe because I'm the biggest freak of all? AM

Of course! - EL

And how are you, lovely? AM

Not good,haven't been feeling too good lately. - EL

What's wrong? AM

Just been...sick is all. - EL

Sick? AM  
Lizzie... AM

It'll pass, I know it will. - EL

You want to talk about it? AM

No, it's fine. - EL

Bullshit,there was more to this.

Well... if you say so. AM

I-I'm sorry Al, really. - EL

Why are you sorry? Lizzie, what is it? AM

I'm-I'm so sorry Lex, I'm sorry. - EL

Lizzie, can you please just stop apologizing for a moment and tell me the hell is going on? AM

Go find my Dad. - EL

What? AM

Just go find my Dad. You'll need permission off him. Just mention it to him and he'll tell you the rest. - EL

Excuse me, the fuck are you talking about? I don't understand a thing. AM

Oh Jesus. Come to the hospital. Please. - EL

I'm on my way. I'm worried, Lizzie. Please tell me, everything's okay. AM

I'm gonna be honest with you. It's not. - EL

What does that mean? AM

It's definitely not okay. - EL

Elizabeth! Tell me! AM

Just come. - EL

The ride to the hospital was probably one of the worst Alexis had ever encountered. Her whole body was shivering, and she felt nauseous just thinking about what might have happened. As she'd arrived, she got the room number from the nurse at the front desk, hurrying upstairs. To be honest, Alex hesitated for a moment before she knocked, entering.

She was pale and gaunt. her blonde hair didn't shine. Her green eyes were closed and you could see the bones in her hands. She looked like death, cold and lifeless. Her lips were white as well. She looked bad.

She looked horrible. Alexis hadn't seen her all summer and now it was this. The last time, Elizabeth had been a beautiful, young girl, full of life. And now she looked like she was dying. Tears immediately flowed down her cheeks and she felt like she was going to be sick. "Lizzie..." Alexis sobbed, hand over her mouth.

She opened her eyes, slowly. She heard Lex crying and wished she could talk. She texted her instead. 'I know. - EL'

Alexis was normally a very strong woman. Not someone to break into tears and start sobbing but she couldn't help it. Moving next to the bed, she simply collapsed onto the floor, shaking, gripping the cold hand. "What is this? How...? Tell me what's happening?"

'What does it look like Lex? - EL' "It looks like you're dying." she sobbed, pressing her face onto the mattress. 'Sorry Lex. I'm sorry baby. - EL' "How could you keep this from me?" she whispered, pressing her lips to the cold, pale skin, shivering. "What happened?"

'I was just throwing up, nothing I thought wouldn't pass, then it got worse and blood came out instead. Dad took me to the doctors, they said I had cancer. I tried my best to fight it, you saw how tired i was. But, in the end,the fighting made it worse. - EL

Next to the horrible sadness running through her, anger mixed with it, poisoning her. Pulling back, Alexis looked down at her best friend, with angry eyes. "How could you not tell me? How could you lie to me, for 4 months and tell me everything is fine? HOW?"

'I knew that you would yell, scream, worry. I didn't want that, it pains me to see that, especially from you. I couldn't do it baby, I was so selfish because of love. - EL'

"You were selfish?" Getting up, Alexis moved around the room, sobbing and angry and she wanted to shoot someone right now. "OF COURSE I WOULD WORRY!" she cried, her hands clenching so hard, nail digging into her palm, making it bleed. "I LOVE YOU, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!"

Her eyes just stared at her, full of tears and pain and guilt. That's all she could do.

"I love you!" she sobbed, feeling silly just standing in the room. "I wanted to be with you. I wanted us to move in together when you finished school, I wanted us to be together. I wanted to walk around town, holding your hand and showing everyone that you are mine. And only mine. And now you robbed everything. I couldn't even be there for you while you were suffering. You shut me out and you made me look like an idiot."

"You're right. Everything you say is right. I am a horrible person, I deserve to be lying on this bed, I deserve to suffer. Leave Alexis Moran, leave me to die alone like I deserve. - EL' Never would she thought she'd hear those words ever.

Looking at her phone, she gasped, before looking up again. "You are an idiot!" she whispered harshly, shaking her head. Putting her phone away, she walked towards the bed again before kicking her boots off, moving to slip onto the bed next to her, careful with the tubes and stuff. "I won't leave you alone. I want to go with you."

'You can't, people need you. - EL'

"I need you." she whispered, placing the mobile on Elizabeth's stomach, closing her eyes. "There's nothing I need more than you." She closed her eyes too. "I..love..you." She wheezed out.

And like that, Alexis just broke down. She pressed herself against Elizabeth's slim body, sobs wracking her body, tears flowing down. It felt like she was dying as well. Like everything had just lost its meaning.

Suddenly, the shrill sound of the heart monitor giving out caught her ears as doctors ran in the room.

No no no no no no no no. This wasn't happening. Snapping her eyes open, she practically fell from the bed as the doctors and nurses rushed into the room. This wasn't happening, please, it just couldn't. Alexis almost broke down as she saw her father come into the room as well, tears rushing down.

She was standing in the room, a ghost. Back to normal. She saw Alexis run to her father. Her Dad was fighting to get in. She was trying to be woken up, but she couldn't.

Inspector Lestrade was losing it. Alexis moved over to him, wrapping her arms around him to get him out, to make him not see his lifeless daughter being shocked several times. Greg was sobbing and Alexis as well and they just held each other, dying inside.

A couple days later came the funereal.

The last days had been horrible. Her dad was trying to help her as much as he could, comforting her. Sebastian had gone through the same with losing Jim as Alexis had been a little girl but the man could only do so much. She'd started cutting again, her wrists full of bloody cuts as she appeared at Elizabeth's funeral a few days later. She was wearing a black dress, Sebastian towering behind her in a black suit, hand on her shoulder. Everyone was there, Greg was desperately holding onto Aunt Molly as the pastor was talking. But all Alexis could think about was, how she would kill herself this afternoon, only to be with her Elizabeth again.

She waited until the funeral to make her appearance. When the coffin was up on the mantle. She took over the sound system, it hissed and crackled, making the music playing disappear.

To be honest, Alexis didn't really care. She just sat there, staring at her black nails as Sebastian caressed her thigh, making her relax a little bit. The sound system failed and all she could think about was how those idiots ruining Lizzie's funeral.

Suddenly, someone's voice came over the system, the sound guys were confused, it was someone singing.

Never thought I'd be in this place  
It's someone else's life I'm living  
Wish I were living a lie  
The hardest part is when the bough breaks  
Falling down and then forgiving  
You didn't kiss me goodbye  
I'm choking on the words I didn't get to say  
And pray I get the chance one day

I still run  
I still swing open the door  
I still think you'll be there like before  
Doesn't anybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to I'm still holding out for you

I can hear ya smile in the dark  
I can even feel you breathing   
When the daylight chases the ghost  
I see your coat and I fall apart  
To those hints of you I'm clinging  
Now's when I need them most  
I should get up, dry my eyes and move ahead  
At least that's what he would have said

I still run  
I still swing open the door  
I still think you'll be there like before  
Doesn't anybody out there know to never come around  
Some things a heart won't listen to I'm still holding out for you

Faithfully, I trace your name while you sleep  
It's the only true comfort I feel

I still run  
I still swing open the door  
I still think you'll be there like before

I still run   
I still swing open the door  
I still think you'll be there like before  
Doesn't everybody out there know to never come around

Some things a heart won't listen to  
I'm still holding out for you  
Holding out for you

"Lexi." they heard over it the sound system, clear as day. "Lexi." Over and over again "Lexi"

Looking up, she stared at her father who just shrugged. He was hearing it as well and she was shivering. Okay, she wasn't going completely crazy. The song had been beautiful, Lizzie's voice clear and beautiful as always. It was killing her.

"Lexi, I love you." It kept repeating. "Lexi, I love you." Then it changed. "Lexi, don't die."

Everybody in the chapel was freaking out. It was obvious that this was Lizzie's voice and the people started to storm out of the room. Seb took Alexis's hand, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "I heard him, too." he whispered, squeezing her hand. "He said the same. He came back to me to tell me to live. Listen to her."

"STOP!" They heard. Everyone paused. "I love you Dad. I love you all."

Greg was just breaking down, John and Molly trying to keep him up and Alexis just leaned against her dad, shivering. She wanted this to stop, she wanted to stop suffering. LIfe had no meaning without Lizzie in it.

"Come on Lexie!" She heard behind her. She saw Elizabeth standing there, holding her hand out. "Come on!" She was wearing a plaid shirt and blue jeans. She was barefoot too.

Her heart was clenching at how very strange this was. She hated being selfish, but being with Elizabeth was everything she needed right now. So she held her hand out, placing it in Lizzie's. "What will happen?"

"You're already gone, he doesn't know because he's holding you to him. You bled out." She said. "I got you back." She gestured to her clothes and body, which had changed. She was wearing a green shirt and black jeans. She no longer had cuts on her wrists and she was barefoot too.

"I... what?" she whispered, turning around to see her father crying. Something she had never seen before. "How...?" "Don't ask how." She said, she kissed her on the lips, tears trailing down her face.

"What is happening, Lizzie?" she whispered against her lips, wrapping her arms around her, feeling a warm feeling around them. "I'm confused."

"We're leaving." she said. "You and me, forever."

Alexis smiled. "Always." No one saw them disappear out the doors and inside a light.

 

Love prevails, even in death.


End file.
